Anything for love
by Rae1
Summary: What would Takeru do for his brother? Yaoi, rape, death, language. Take the rating seriously.
1. Chapter one

[And on the other end of the equation is the event that noone expects. It's that horrible, despairing turn that leaves you standing in shocked surprise.]  
  
Takeru looked up from his computer as someone knocked on the door. He looked at the time on the screen with a frown. It was unusual for anyone to interrupt him at six-thirty in the morning. With a shake of his head, he pushed back from the desk and walked to the door as his visitor knocked again.  
  
"Who's there?" He called, though he doubted that it would be anyone but another digi-destined. They were the only ones that would have a reason to stop at such an odd time of day. He ruled out Kari, who would be preparing for her class. Matt was still in training for the space program. Cody would be asleep, or would have called first. Yolei and Ken lived would have phoned first, also, the same with Izzy and Joe. That left Sora and Mimi, which he doubted, and Tai and Davis.  
  
"Hurry up, TK!" Tai, then, since Davis still couldn't seem to get his name right. He thought about making the older man wait longer, but the forceful knock that followed his announcement could only lead to one thing. Either Takeru would open the door, or Tai would knock it down.  
  
He unbolted the lock, and turned the knob, not surprised to find a raised fist on the other side. "Give me a minute to unlock it, will'ya?" He glared at the brunette, not fazed all that much by the unexpectedness of his visit. He was starting to get a writer's block, and he needed the escape. "What's up, Kamiya?"   
  
With a grunt, Tai pushed past him, and made himself at home, sinking into the couch and putting his feet on the coffee table. With a small smile that he hid, Takeru shut the door and reworked the bolt. You couldn't be too careful in the city: too many weirdos walked at all times of day. "Nothing much, Takaishi."  
  
Takeru grinned at his friend. He had always liked Tai, for many reasons. His open personality, his leadership, his loyalty. The way that he had always been there for all of them, especially Matt and Kari, and himself. He held a great respect for Mrs. Kamiya, who had raised two wonderful children, in the blonde's eyes.  
  
There was no answering grin on Tai's face, though Takeru shrugged it off. Whatever would drag the other man out of bed that early in the morning probably wasn't a trivial thing. He sat down next to him on the couch, turned toward him, keeping his body language open. He wouldn't pry, since he knew that nobody could force Tai to talk when he didn't want to.  
  
With a blank expression, brown eyes met blue, and Takeru had the distinct impression that Tai was sizing him up for something, taking his measure. As if he wasn't certain that he could handle whatever he had to say. He had seen him give his brother that same expression when he wanted to do something reckless, and he knew that Matt wouldn't give in without a lot of persuasion. The look that said that he was going to win no matter what, and he didn't give a damn if Takeru liked it one way or another.  
  
"You're a loyal person, TK." He started softly, his gaze moving away from the blonde. Takeru took a deep breath as Tai looked away. He had started to feel very uneasy with his friend, and he didn't like that at all. "Good, strong, loyal Takeru Takaishi."  
  
"Um. Sure, Tai." He wasn't certain where this was going, but that soft tone of voice was almost as unsettling as his expression had been.  
  
"There isn't much that you wouldn't do for your friends, is there? Or for you family, for that matter." Takeru agreed with a nod. Tai caught it from the corner of his eye. "You always amazed me, Takeru. You were always optimistic, except when you thought that you wouldn't be able to do anything to help the ones that you loved."  
  
"I hate feeling helpless. I would do most anything for my friends, and for Matt. He's the most important thing in my life, even before my mother. She's wonderful, but Matt's always known me, and understood me in ways that a mother can't. For Matt, there is no limit to what I would do."  
  
The look dissolved from Tai's face, only to be replaced by a smirk that he turned on Takeru. "I thought as much. You think so highly of your brother." The younger man jerked back a little, taken aback by the scorn in Tai's voice. He didn't understand what was going on at all, and he didn't like not knowing where the conversation was going. The feeling of helplessness that accompanied it.  
  
"What's up with you, Tai? You're acting really weird, and it's making me uncomfortable." He moved into the corner of the couch, away from Tai, distancing himself with the action and the tone of his voice.  
  
Tai laughed, the sound cold and unfriendly. "Oh, little Takeru. So sweet, so naive." He looked at the blonde with an unnreadable look. "You're brother is in trouble, and it could cost him everything. His family, Sora, his career. Even some of his friends, and the respect of the world and your family."  
  
"What are you talking about?" Takeru was seriously worried, now. His eyes darted to the phone. Maybe he should call Matt. He'd know what to do with his best friend, he'd understand the strange mood that he was in.   
  
"Don't even bother, Takeru." He used his full name in a scornful manner, his eyes dark with several emotions. Anger, hatred, disgust, lust, and the barest, briefest flash of pain. "Your brother can't save himself. He's already failed to do so. None of the others care as much as you do, Takeru. They can't help him."  
  
A hard knot in his stomach, Takeru asked the only thing he could. "What do I have to do?"  
  
Again, that cruel laugh. He cringed slightly, which seemed to amuse the other to no end. "You have to do exactly as I say, Takeru. Should you fail to follow any of my instructions, I will personally see to your brother's destruction. If you go to him, I will make sure that I ruin both your lives, especially his. Go to any of the others, and I will ruin them as well."  
  
"Why the hell are you doing this, Tai? Matt's supposed to be your best friend. I'm supposed to be your friend, dammit! What's the point in all of this?" He gestured with one hand, the other running through his hair in agitation.  
  
"Simple, really. Your brother has fucked me over in more ways than one, and I will have my revenge. You, Takeru, are my revenge. You'll be my slave, my servant, obedient to all of my wishes. He'll look at us and wonder. He won't miss the fear and hurt and anger in your eyes. He'll ask, and he'll hurt for you, knowing that he's to blame. And in the end, when he can't find another way, he'll crawl to me. He'll beg me to stop, knowing that it's his fault."  
  
"You're going to destroy him, anyways! Why should I agree to anything?" The anger burned brightly in both pair of eyes. Takeru didn't feel particularly submissive at that moment. He almost considered trying to fight the older man, but he knew that Tai kept fit, where as he did not.   
  
"Because, if you're truly good, then he won't know that anything's wrong. And then you can spare him the heartbreak of knowing that you sacrificed yourself for his happiness." Tai grinned smugly, the anger in his eyes giving way to a dark triumph.  
  
"I think I hate you right now, Tai. You disgust me, and I want nothing more than to see your face pounded in, and the shit beat out of you." Takeru clenched and unclenched his fist.  
  
"I'm glad that you agree, my Takeru. That's what you are, now. Mine. First thing you do. Call your landlord, and tell him you're moving at the end of the month."  
  
Takeru didn't bother trying to pretend ignorance. "Is there going to be enough room at your place for my stuff?"   
  
The grin widened. "Of course, my Takeru. We can use the second bedroom as an office." Takeru swallowed, catching the meaning behind that sentence. Tai's apartment only had two bedrooms. Any doubts about his new capacity in Tai's life faded away, leaving him feeling disoriented and neauseated.  
  
"And what do I tell the others?" His voice was resigned, his shoulders slumped in defeat.  
  
"For now, simply tell them that you lost your lease, and you're staying at my place. For the sake of Matt's peace of mind, I'd try to sound happy." He grinned at the weak glare that Takeru gave him. "If you like, I'll even let you sleep on the couch. For a little while."  
  
They both knew that Tai wouldn't let that be a permanent situation. He stood up, smiling down at the stunned blonde, obviously enjoying his discomfort.   
  
"Tomorrow, we go shopping. We'll need a couple of things, including a larger bed. Sweet dreams, my Takeru. Be at my apartment by ten tomorrow. Pack only the things you don't need immediately. Your clothes can stay until the end of the month."   
  
Takeru didn't bother to stand up and see him out. He stared at a spot on the wall, the click of the door echoing loudly through the apartment. It had started out as such a beautiful day, with the birds singing, and his writing was going well. And then it had turned to hell in a matter of ten minutes.  
  
He bowed his head, rubbing his forehead with his right hand, eyes closed. He could feel the despair wash over him, settling into his bones, choking him with tears that he wouldn't allow to fall. He owed his brother so much, loved him more. There was nothing he wouldn't do for Yamato Ishida. Nothing.  
  
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No, it's not one of my normally happy fics. It's not even an angst turned fluff. I just want everyone to know that I love Tai. He's one of my faves. I'm sorry if anyone has qualms about him being as much of an asshole as I make him/am going to make him out to be. He's very OOC, so is Takeru. They all are, sorry.  
  
This fic is dedicated to Allison-Michelle, who entered and won my contest. She requested an angsty/drama Taikeru, in which TK is an unwilling participant. It will be sad, and very depressing.   
  
Ahead: Rape, suicide-attempt (No more hints than that), and lot's of sadness and Evil Rapist Tai.  
  
[Words inside the brackets indicate something that Takeru is writing, mainly for his book. The passages don't always coincide with what follows, but it will eventually turn up someplace in the story. It adds a kind of irony to some of it, but not always a direct forshadowing. They are used to illustrate a passing of time. Sometimes days, sometimes hours, sometimes months.]  
  
Author: Rae (penname)  
Title: Anything for you  
Content: Angst and drama. Violence, and verbal abuse. No fluff, no humor, no romance  
  
For those that hate this, I'm sorry. For anyone that likes this couple, I may write another Taikeru, if anyone wants.   
  



	2. Chapter two

[We had grand adventures, fighting evil, and many victories. We were all very close, because we had the same purpose. It helped that there had always been someone there to lead us, someone to keep us together.]  
  
Takeru took one last look around his apartment, the place that he'd called home for the three years following college. He'd thought to live there for a long time, possibly even the rest of his life. The other tenants were wonderful people, the landlord was great, and the building owner was already a millionaire, so there would never be a sharp increase in rent. It had seemed the perfect place.  
  
From paradise, to hell. Tai was waiting for him at what would be his new home. He had already moved his computer and books. All that was left was transporting the last of his clothes, and the food that was left, which wasn't much. It had been a short two weeks since Tai had come to him with that ultimatum, and his anger hadn't left him yet, but neither had his feeling of pessimism.  
  
He was supposed to be the incarnate of hope. He should have been able to find something good in the situation, but he couldn't. And that made him a little bit more upset. Because he knew that nothing good could or would come from his life in the near future. There was no way around it, either.  
  
When Tai had returned the second time, and told him exactly what to move when, he had seriously considered calling Matt. He knew his brother would tell him to tell Tai off, no matter what the consequences were. There was no doubt in his mind that Matt would shrug off the threat to his happiness, and possibly retaliate against his friend in a like manner, but Takeru didn't want to take the chance that it would only be worse for the both of them.  
  
With a sigh, he shut the door, making sure that the bolt was locked. Most of the furniture would stay, except what he had brought, which hadn't been much. His desk and chair had been at Tai's for three days. Everything else had been there when he moved in. On his way out of the building, he stopped at Mr. Tagami's, and left the key in the mailslot.  
  
Outside, the heat of summer hung with humidity in the air, and he could feel the sweat already forming on his forehead and back. He crossed the concourse, and got into the waiting car without a word. It was a nice car, air-conditioned. The sweat dried quickly, leaving him sligthly chill from the damp. Tai put it into gear, and they started the trip across town in silence.  
  
Takeru looked out the window, blue eyes focusing on the buildings as they neared their destination. He had been to Tai's apartment six times in the last two weeks, moving things from one place to another, finding the promised space for his belongings. The spare room had been nearly empty, except for some sports equipment that had never made it's way to the trash, despite years of unuse.  
  
His computer and desk had gone against a wall, his stereo on the other side. Tai had an entertainment center in his living room. The recliner that Takeru had gotten for his twenty-first birthday had gone in a corner with a vantage of the kitchen, door, and television. In the back of the car was the last suitcase, full of his casual, everyday clothes.   
  
"Where's your hat?" Tai broke the silence.   
  
"Packed away with my clothes." Takeru answered shortly, disliking being forced to communicate with the man beside him.  
  
Tai grunted, a sign that Takeru had come to learn meant that he was displeased about something. "When we get home, you'll unpack it, and wear it."  
  
"Whatever." He didn't disagree, didn't refuse. They both knew that he wouldn't. He was a slave, in every detail, for his word had been given. He'd do whatever he had to protect his brother.  
  
"Good." They turned into the parking lot of a larger apartment complex. "Don't unpack too much else, though. We're moving upstairs in another week." That caused Takeru's head to whip around.  
  
"Why?" The car stopped in a designated parking area, and Tai got out, stretching. The blonde man followed, opening the back door to reach for his bag.  
  
"Because we're getting a bigger place, of course. I thought you'd like to know that the other apartment will have three bedrooms." A sliver of hope snaked its way around Takeru's heart, and leapt into his eyes. "Now we'll have an office, a guest bedroom, and our room."   
  
Disgust and anger slammed into his gut, turning that small amount of hope into ashes. He didn't respond, just roughly pulled out the luggage and slammed the door. He could feel the cruel smile that Tai sent his way, but he ignored it, chosing instead to lead the way upstairs. He headed to the elevators, blue eyes refusing to take in the surroundings in his fury.  
  
"TK?" He swung around, dropping the bag he was holding, as his brother called his name.  
  
"Matt? What are you doing here?" He tried not to sound desperate, fought to hide any evidence that anything was wrong. It seemed to work, because Matt gave him his familiar small smile, blue eyes sparkling in the dim light.  
  
"I thought I'd pay Tai a visit. What are you doing?" He gestured to the bags with a wave of his hand, and Takeru felt lost, uncertain of how to answer. He wasn't given a chance to respond.  
  
"Your brother's going to be living with me for awhile, Matt." Tai walked up to them, his grin friendly, his eyes considerably darker. Something akin to pain flashed through Matt's eyes before he looked back at his brother, his worry only betrayed by the slight rise of one eyebrow.  
  
"When did that happen?" They were playing a game, and the three of them knew it. There was something wrong, something that both brother's felt they were missing somehow. Yet, they kept their emotions checked, not letting anything slip. Giving nothing away.  
  
"I lost the lease on my place, and Tai offered to let me stay." It was the version they had agreed upon, the most unassuming one possible.   
  
"Oh. You should have called me, there's an extra room at my place. In fact, you can come stay with me now. We'll just move your stuff, since it's not far from here."  
  
"Don't worry about it, Matt. I appreciate the offer, but all my stuff's already here. And, I figured, with the hours I keep, that it might be a problem. You've always been a light sleeper, where as Tai isn't. I won't have to worry about waking him up." Logical and practical. "Besides, I don't really want to intrude on you and Sora, since you admitted to me less that a month ago that she was staying at your place more often than yours."  
  
Matt grinned, the thought of his fiancee causing a light to grow in his eyes. He missed the pain and anger that flashed through Tai's eyes, but Takeru didn't. He filed the reaction away, to be dealt with at another time. He had to get rid of his brother. Fast.  
  
"Which reminds me, I was going to call you tonight, to remind you that you're supposed to be getting her a gift. You're anniversary is in three days, remember."   
  
"Oh, shit!" With a sheepish look that said the older man hadn't remembered, he said goodbye, and nearly ran out of the building. Tai looked after him, his brown eyes slightly glazed as he became lost in his thoughts.  
  
The doors pinged as they opened, and they stepped into the four-walled machine that would take them to the sixth-story. It was a nice complex, with a lot of class and style, in a nice section of the city. Each floor had less apartments, with each progressive story being more expensive than the last. The tenth and top floor was a penthouse, belonging to a movie star.  
  
The ride up was quiet, the hum of the elevator the only sound. Takeru kept the bags in his hands and stood in the corner farthest from Tai. Neither man spoke or looked at the other. It was as if, by silent agreement, they had agreed to pretend that the other didn't exist for the short time before they reached their destination.  
  
They stepped out together when the doors opened, their strides matching. At the door, Takeru sat his bags down and waited while Tai found the right key and unlocked it. Once inside, they separated, Takeru to the back of the apartment and the bedrooms, Tai into the kitchen.   
  
There was no sound in the apartment. They were high enough up that traffic wasn't heard, and the walls between the apartments were soundproof, so they didn't have to listen to the neighbors. If not for the muffled noises from moving things around, Takeru might have thought that he was alone in the apartment, and that Tai had left.   
  
"No such luck." He mumbled, setting his stuff on the bed, and unzipping the first suitcase. Seemingly out of the air, Tai had produced another dresser, identical to his in appearance, as well as extra closet space that he wasn't using.   
  
An hour later, all his clothes taken care of, Takeru walked back into the living room. Tai was moving around in the kitchen, fixing two plates of food. The kitchen table had been set for dinner, which surprised the blonde. He had figured that he'd cook for the both of them. He said as much to the older man.  
  
"Not tonight. After this, the kitchen belongs to you. I thought that I'd let you put everything away in peace." He gestured for Takeru to take a seat, and he did. There were only two chairs, set up across from each other. It saved room in the kitchen, and the others were accessible in a nearby closet.  
  
"Thanks." It was the first thing that came into his head to say, and he clenched his teeth as soon as the word was uttered. He didn't want to thank Tai for anything. He had destroyed his hopes and dreams for the future, turned him into a servant, and was planning on stealing his innocence.  
  
Yes, his innocence. He had saved himself for the day when he would fall in love, for the woman that would be is wife. That dream, too, had been shattered. He couldn't picture himself in any relationship after Tai was done with him. He would never be whole again. He'd have nothing of himself to give.  
  
As childish and naive as that sounded, it was the truth. He had always held love in the highest of esteem. He had wanted a relationship as beautiful as his brother's, a partner as loving and faithful as Sora. They were the perfect couple: complementing each other, as well as balancing each other.  
  
Now, he would be tainted, scarred. Whether he ever found the love of his life, or not, there would always be this to hold him back. A piece of him missing.  
  
Tai looked up from his meal, and noticed the man across from him glaring at his plate. "Stop frowning." Takeru looked up, blue eyes flashing, lips open in a retort that he stopped before it passed his lips. "Eat."  
  
With a forced smile, Takeru picked up his sandwich and began to eat. He didn't taste it, just chewed and swallowed as was habit. He cleared his plate, drained the glass of milk that Tai had given him, then pushed back from the table.  
  
"Where are you going?" Tai didn't bother to look up from his plate.  
  
"I was going to work on the computer." Takeru glared at the top of his head, fists clenching at his sides. After his freedom was taken, he had hoped to be able to escape inside his writing, to find some solace in his work.  
  
"You can sit until I finish eating, at least." Dark brown eyes looked up, catching Takeru in their cruelty. He sat back down. He waited as the brunette finished his meal, slowly. He seemed to take a purposely long time. When he was finished, he stood up, and Takeru did the same. "You can take care of the dishes, wash them, and then get on with your...work." He said it disparagingly, forcing Takeru to grit his teeth.  
  
"Yes, sir!" He saluted smartly.  
  
"I think 'master' would be a better title, don't you?" Tai turned and left the kitchen, going into the back of the apartment. Takeru stood in angry silence, tamping down his emotions before he did something stupid. He counted to ten and back six times before he trusted himself to clear the table with his shaking hands.  
  
If he thought that he had hated Tai before, he knew it in that moment.  
  
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Okay, not too bad, yet. The next part gets a little citrusy. And what follows makes me kinda want to gag. Not 'cuz it's yaoi, not 'cuz it's Taikeru, but because it's an evil rapist Tai. That's you're warning.  
  



	3. Chapter three

[We were the greatest of friends, despite the constant arguing amongst certain members of our team. The first time around, the fighting was mainly between my brother and the leader, about me. Not because they both didn't care, but because they needed an outlet, and I was as good an excuse as anything else.]  
  
Returning to the second bedroom turned office, after cleaning the kitchen, he found Tai at his computer, looking through one of his chapter files, reading his story. "What are you doing?" His voice came out loudly, but Tai only turned around with his little smile.  
  
"Reading." He smirked as Takeru swallowed hard. "You're work is very interesting, my Takeru. This is about our adventures into the digital world, isn't it?"   
  
"Yes." The brunette grinned at his forced reply.  
  
"Hmm." He stood up and walked to stand in front of the younger man. "It's six-thirty now. We go to bed at nine. I rise at six. You will go to bed when I go. After I've finished with you, you may do whatever, except leave the apartment. I do expect to see you beside me when I wake up, however. You will serve me breakfast. At the table. And dinner will be ready at six when I get home. I eat lunch out."  
  
"Yes." Takeru agreed, his eyes averted to a spot on the wall over Tai's right shoulder.  
  
With a satisfied grin, Tai walked past him, disappearing into the living room. A moment later, Takeru heard the sounds of the television blaring. He sat down at his computer, opened the file he had been working on, and stared at the monitor. His brain refused to focus on the words already on the screen, his fingers unmoving over the keyboard. With a disgusted sigh, he closed the file, and opened a new one.  
  
With a narrowed look in the general direction of the living room, he started typing, his hands flying over the keys.   
  
  
[Many friends move away, and lose touch, but the digi-destined didn't. We stayed in the same area, not more than an hour away from our farthest friend. Even Mimi returned to Japan. We still held meetings, not to discuss the fate of the world, but to catch up on the events we miss while living our own lives. Every one made a point to attend, for fear that we'd fall apart from each other, never to reconcile again. It hurts to lose a friend, and we didn't want that to happen.]  
  
A tanned hand reached out and it the sleep button on the computer. Takeru looked up, not masking the annoyance at the disruption. Tai merely turned away. The blonde looked at his watch, frowning at the hands that signaled that it was nine. He swallowed, stood up, and followed.  
  
He entered the bedroom to see Tai leaning back against the headboard, dressed only in light pajama bottoms. With cold brown eyes, he looked over Takeru's clothed state, his lips twisting slightly. "Strip and get down on all fours."  
  
"Excuse me?" Takeru was taken aback by the brusque command.   
  
With a grunt, Tai pushed himself up from the bed. "You heard me, bitch. Take your clothes off, and get down on your hands and knees." The younger man was stunned. He had felt betrayed when Tai had started all this, but this was almost too much. He had hoped, someplace in the back of his mind, that it wouldn't actually going that far.  
  
Tai was not only proving that hope wrong, he was basically illustrating how hopeless his situation was. No dignity, no pride, no gentleness. Just 'bend over and bear it'.  
  
With numb hands, he pulled his shirt over his head, and started at the snap and zipper of his pants. His fingers were steady as the material fell to his ankles, and he stepped out of them. He looked at the bed as he slipped his underwear off, conscious of Tai's eyes on him.  
  
"Now, kneel on the bed, put your ass in the air, and hang on tight." It was said cruelly, with no compassion for what Takeru was feeling. If there was a doubt in his head that he hated Tai, it was erased in that second.  
  
  
[We suffered many things together. I lost my partner at one time. Things have a way of working out though. Just when you think that the pain will never end, it's all over. Done with before you can draw your next breath. And the relief of that moment is almost a painful thing.]  
  
It hurt. The pain was horrible, wrenching. It brought the tears to overflowing, and the silent sobs racked his body.   
  
He was sitting in the bottom of the bathtub, letting the water from the showerhead wash over him. At first, he could see the trails of blood as they twirled down the drain, but that had been almost an hour ago. The tears and pain didn't stop so easily.   
  
There had been no preliminaries, no preparation. Just bend over, stick it in. He wrapped his arms around his knees, huddling on the warming ceramic. It had hurt, had ripped him apart. He had bit his lip to stop the screams, and had held tight against the tears until Tai had pulled back, slapped him on the ass, and said, "Move it, bitch, I want to sleep."  
  
He had proceeded to do just that, as Takeru ran for the bathroom, not bothering with his clothes or modesty. He had turned the water on warm, and scrubbed at his body, avoiding his backside due to the fiery ache.   
  
The bastard hadn't even used oil, or lubrication.  
_______________________  
  
Author's note: You don't even have to say it. I'm an evil bitch, I know. You were warned, though.  
  



	4. Chapter four

[Pain is a funny thing. Many people will go through hell to avoid pain, while others actually seek it out. I don't like pain, myself. It tends to make me go numb, and after a while, I stop feeling it, though the scars never fade.]  
  
Three months later, Takeru sat on the bench of a picnic table, his back against the wood. He was looking at nothing, his blue eyes glazed over. The others were looking at him in worry, but attempts to talk to him had been met by an empty stare, and an equally hollow, "Nothing's wrong."   
  
Matt and Kari were both glaring at Tai, who acted as if nothing was wrong. He sat across from his 'roommate', ignoring them. If the others knew that they were living together, they didn't connect his attitude with their living conditions.  
  
When Tai stood up, Matt did too, and pulled him aside.  
  
"What the hell is going on, Tai?" They stood facing each other. Tai considerably calmer than the furious blonde.  
  
"I don't know what you're talking about, Matt." He lied, straight-faced. He made to walk past, but Matt shoved him back.  
  
"Don't fuck with me, Yagami. What the hell did you do to my little brother?"  
  
"Why don't you ask him, Ishida?" He fairly snarled.  
  
"I did. He won't talk to anyone about it. Is this because I...because of what happend three months ago?" He looked back to make sure the others couldn't hear.  
  
"Because I told you I loved you, and you called me a sick, perverted freak? One that you hated, and that disgusted you? Because you broke my heart, and nearly killed me? Why would that have anything to do with me and your brother?" He smiled innocently, brown eyes smug.  
  
"You asshole. Let him go. Whatever you're using to make him stay with you, let it go. Please. I'll trade him spots, take over for him."  
  
"Why would I want you, when I can have his pert little ass under me every night?" Matt grabbed him by the collar, and hauled him close, until they stood face to face.  
  
"Leave my brother be, Tai. Let him go."   
  
"You want to know what the irony is? I'm blackmailing him with your happiness. I told him that I would ruin you if he didn't do everything I said. And now, you're offering me your happiness for his. It's almost too sweet for words. I finally get offered what I wanted in the beginning, and now, I don't want it."  
  
"Bastard!" He flung him backwards, and turned back to where the others were still sitting. Takeru was gone. He looked around the park, and finally saw him walking slowly towards the road. They were parked across the street.   
  
His head was down, his hands in his pockets. Matt ran to catch up with him, ready to tell him that it was over. He didn't care what Tai had against him. He would save his brother from that bastard if it killed him.   
  
Takeru wandered across the road, not looking up. Matt stepped off the sidewalk, and looked left, then right. his brother just passing the center line.   
  
"Takeru!" He called out, not wanting his brother to put more space between them. He distracted the younger man, causing him to stop and look up. He never saw the car heading toward him. The driver was on their cellphone, and looking at the shops along the road.   
  
Matt took it in, and leapt forward, pushing his brother backwards, out of the way.  
  
  
[There are different kinds of pain, some that fade quickly, and others that don't. Those are the kinds that throb thirty years later, when the weatherman says it won't rain, but you know otherwise. Because you can feel it in the ache in your bones.]  
  
Takeru stumbled backwards, sprawling in the gutter. His brother had pushed him across one and a half lanes of traffic. He heard the car squeal to a stop, but couldn't see it. A low-hung minivan had stopped between him and the accident.  
  
He stood up in a daze, not bothering to dust himself off. "Yamato?" It was a broken whisper, as a single tear rolled down his cheek. No reply came, but he hadn't expected one. No blonde head stood on the other side of the van, no blue eyes peering at him over the hood.  
  
He closed his eyes, feeling the tears well up. It was over. He was free.  
  
  
[I'd rather face hell, than go numb. I'd rather suffer the pain, than the relief. For the problem is oftimes better than the solution. Life has taught me that.]  
  
He had his arm around Sora, comforting her as the minister droned on. Funerals were depressing. His own eyes were dry. He had shed his tears that day. The day his brother was taken from him.   
  
Looking over the head of his brother's ex-fiancee, he gestured to Izzy. The redhead came over, and wrapped his arms around Sora, who went willingly into her arms. She hadn't stopped crying since she had ran up, and saw his body, lifeless on the road.  
  
Takeru walked away, his shoulders squared. He had seen to all the funeral preparations. His mother and father had asked him to do so. They were very distraught, and had had a hard time dealing with it. He had been the pillar of strength for everyone.   
  
All feeling seemed to have died with him that day, as if his heart had died, too.   
  
Maybe it had. His brother had been everything to him. He would have done anything for him. He had sacrificed so much for his brother, only for him to be taken away. He had sacrificed his body, for his brother to sacrifice his life.  
  
Life was an ironice bitch.  
  
He got into his brother's car. His car, now. All of Ishida Yamato's possession had reverted to him. He had given Sora first pick of everything, but she had passed over his automobile.  
  
With familiarity, he drove down street after street, taking as direct a route as possible toward his destination. His freedom had come with a high price, one that he had yet to fulfill in its entirety. There was still a little left to finish.  
  
He stopped in front of an expensive apartment building, and stepped out, leaving the keys with a valet. He walked past the doorman, who adressed him by name with a smile. The receptionist nodded his way, as he stepped into the elevator. He pushed the button for the eight floor, and waited for it to get there.  
  
When the doors opened, he stepped onto a plush carpet, and turned left. There were only three doors on the eight floor, leading to three very large apartments. You could hold a rock concert in one apartment, and never hear a sound in the other two.  
  
He walked to door 8B, and inserted the key. The door opened silently, and he walked in, removing his shoes by the floor. With quiet tread, he walked to the back bedroom, socks not making a sound. The door was ajar, and he pushed it open the rest of the way.   
  
He stopped at the foot of the bed, reached into his pocket, and pulled out the objects with in.   
  
Tai never moved on the bed, asleep in an alcohol-induced slumber. Takeru loaded the gun with two bullets. He held it out at arms lenght, his hand steady.   
  
"Hello, bitch." He growled out, jerking Tai from his sleep. Brown eyes met blue a mere second before the trigger was pulled.   
  
He watched with a sick fascination as Tai's body jerked, then fell back against the bed. Takeru looked at his lifeless body for a moment, remembering the way his brother had fallen after being hit by a car.   
  
He put the gun against his head. He felt nothing. Empty. He had nothing left to live for. The hollowness threatened to swallow him whole.  
  
He lowered the gun, letting it slip to the floor as he pulled off the gloves he had worn. He walked to the phone, and dialed the police. Then he walked to the front door, exited, and shut it. He kicked it in, making sure it looked like a break in. With the time that he had left, he ransacked the apartment, taking the more valuable items. These, he loaded into a bag, and put it in the service elevator.   
  
When the police came, they took down all of his information, looked at the evidence, and left. They ruled it a burglary, and didn't even bother to ask him to go to the station. When they were gone, he took the bag out of the service elevator, went back downstairs.  
  
After repeating the waves and hello's that had accompanied him upstairs, he got into the car, and drove back to the cemetary. They had lowered the coffin, but hadn't covered it yet. He dropped the bag into the hole, and stood over it.  
  
"I love you, brother. I would do anything for you. And, in your memory, I will live." He felt tears threaten. "I gave up everything for you, so that you could live happily. You gave up everything so that I may live. I wish you hadn't. I'd rather be whipped and raped and beaten every night, just to spend another day knowing that you're out there, that you're happy. I never wanted you gone. I would have killed myself first. I would rather live in a prison than be in the world without you. You gave me a reason to live for, when there was nothing else."  
  
Two men came back, and started shoveling dirt on top of the casket.  
  
"Anything for you, brother." He walked away as the heaven's opened, and it began to rain.   
  
[Love can heal the pain. We learned that, too. By standing together, we could survive anything. Love takes the emptiness away, makes the world better. That's why Matt and I are so close. We can heal each other. It's part of our bond as brothers. We give each other a reason to live, a reason to keep going. We would do anything for each other. We would live and die for each other. He is my world, the only thing that keeps me sane. I don't think that I could live without him. I hope, because I know that he'll always be there. He is the power behind my crest. My strength.]  
  
__________________________  
  
Author's note: No, Takeru does not commit suicide. That would dishonor his brother's memory. Matt died, so that he could live. Allison-Michelle, I hope you liked this. I hope any other readers enjoyed it, also. 


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